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I woke up 20 minutes before my midterm today. As in, it was at 9:25, and I rolled out of bed at 9:05. I was not done studying. I was going to go to CVS in the morning to get my adderall because its actually impossible for me to write two essays in an our without it. I DEFINITELY failed that. I actually laid there in bed and considered whether it would be better to go take the test and fail it, or to keep sleeping and withdraw from the class. What’s wrong with me?

And another tomorrow. And my motivation hasn’t exactly increased. I just want to go home. I have so much to do and I’m too tired and stressed to get anything at all done. Does that make sense? Like when I have a long list of tasks, I usually either get them all done, or get weighed down and do nothing. Not being able to cross everything off is no fun. 

I reactivated Facebook and Twitter for like 20 minutes and decided to deactivate again. I actually hate them both. Facebook is so creepy and I hate the new privacy settings. Twitter angers me because it limits my characters, and as we all know quite well, I like to talk/type a lot. Also, its primarily sarcastic and witty. I normally like that, but I like it more in person. Its too hard to tell if people are being mean or funny when they type. Also everyone hates if I tweet and it isn’t happy or funny. I’m definitely not always happy or funny. Mehh. 

The actual reason why I deleted again, though, is that I am constantly paranoid that things are about me. Maybe they are. Timing can be unreal. I’m getting hurt by literally everything lately.